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Horrible Mandy Sound Ads


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This was even worse than the Craigslist ads, so I thought I'd break it out to another topic. Check this out:

 

POST PRODUCTION SOUND DESIGNER - PAID GIG
We are looking for a brilliant LA based sound designer / artist who wants to work on an awesome 20 minute short film to prove his/her ability on the world stage. We need a team player, who recognizes the value of our project and is committed to delivering excellence.
 
If you are just looking for a job to pay the bills, please do not respond to this add.
Shot entirely in one interior location in Hawaii, our film tackles highly provocative subject matter, and is guaranteed to get noticed in a very big way.
 
As our Sound Designer, you must have access to high-end facilities, and the ability to complete all aspects of post production sound, in the end delivering a fully mastered 5.1 and stereo mix. You should be especially talented at cutting dialogue and incorporating ADR.
 
WORK TIMELINE
-Two days of ADR in mid June.
-The rest of the work will take place in July and/or August
 
WHAT THE JOB REQUIRES:
-Record and cut/mix sound effects
-Record and cut/mix ADR
-Cut/mix dialogue
-Cut/mix music tracks
-Create ambient tracks
-Secure foley artist
-Record and cut/mix foley
-Engineer all aspects of pre and final mix
-Deliver 5.1 and stereo mix as well as any other final deliverables required for completion of film
-Access to all needed facilities and equipment
 
COMPENSATION
-FLAT RATE: $2500-$3500. This price will cover all aspects of the job as listed above- including all recording, cutting, engineering, mixing, foley work, foley artist, ADR sessions, facility + equipment rental – everything).
-If you cannot agree to this non- negotiable flat rate formula please do not respond to this add.
 
YOU SHOULD HAVE THESE CHARACTERISTICS:
-You should be creative and enthusiastic
-You should focus on positive energy
-You should have a commitment to excellence
-You should be mellow and fun with a sense of humor
-You should be looking for an opportunity that will showcase your creative ability to take your career to the next level.
 
YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE THESE CHARACERISTICS:
-Ego / attitude
-Propensity to punch a clock
-Propensity for games
-Propensity for drama, conflict
-Propensity for stubbornness
-Laziness
 
WHO ARE WE?
We are highly experienced independent filmmakers. Our works have screened and won numerous awards in A-list festivals all over the world, including Berlin, Cannes and Tribeca.
 
SYNOPSIS OF FILM:
This is a comic love story between a liberated woman who gets more than she bargains for when falling in love with an inflexible man with a secret past. In discovering that they are both unsatisfied with the rigid roles they have adopted, their relationship seems doomed. But when they choose to open themselves up to what they consider to be unconventional sexual experimentation, they unexpectedly discover a more honest and loving relationship.
 
 
 
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Man, I'd love to respond to this. They'd be lucky to get all this for $10K, let alone under $4K! And the thing about ego/attitude and all this stuff... just comical and bizarre beyond belief. These people are clearly psychotic. I think I'll answer them:
 
"Gee, I have 'access' to high-end facilities, assuming by that you mean we can break in in the middle of the night and shimmy through a broken glass window. I don't have an ego or an attitude, but I will need to shoot up heroin and pop some Xanax at least twice a day, if that's OK. Believe me, this makes me much more mellow. You wouldn't like me when I get angry. I don't exactly have a propensity for games, but is it OK if I love my Playstation 4? I particularly love Call of Duty, when I get to shoot up the enemy for hours and hours and hours on end. That's just plain fun.
 
I can do all this sound editing/recording/mixing work, and I have two $49 Dell computer speakers and a pair of Beats headphones. That will at least give us 4.0 channels, which is almost 5.1, so I'm sure that's good enough. I'm not really stubborn or lazy, mainly because if I were stubborn that would take a lot of energy, and the heroin takes care of that, and I'm too stubborn to admit I'm lazy. I hope that works for you. We can do the foley in my bathroom, since it has a really cool echoey sound. I swear, my landlord upstairs hardly flushes except late at night; you won't even notice him. The nearby freeway and dogs barking will drown it out anyway. 
 
I hope for the $3500 you don't actually expect the sound to be good, since I've already kind of lost interest since answering this ad. I mean, I can get it to sound like something vaguely resembling audio. I guarantee you the meters will move... that should be good enough, right? I mix for YouTube all the time, and it sounds good through my iPod earbuds. Did I mention those? Hey, two more little tiny speakers would probably get us up to 5.1, so maybe that would work after all."
 
God, I hate these ads...  :(
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This is obviously an ad looking for a student at a school like Full Sail who will use the facilities of their school to do this private job. Pretty sure all schools have rules regarding such things...I imagine state, and federal laws could also be applicable in some way.

But I could be wrong. If I am...I'm gonna start making tons of movies with student crews and pay them nothing! Oh...not an original idea? Damn!

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"inflexible man with a secret past" "liberated woman" yes I want another GD comedic love story about a liberated woman and a troubled stubborn bad boy with a secret past. When do we get to start talking about a liberated man who stays liberated without messing around with a woman who is obviously troubled lol I'd work for that amount for that flick.

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I don't think it's that bad. If you are good as you say Marc, then you could complete this in 2 days. 

And quite frankly, I'm disappointed you didn't put this in my "CL" thread.

 

It's only a 20 minute short! I should be able to do it in 30 minutes (including setup time!).

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Tim: " "inflexible man with a secret past" "liberated woman" yes I want another GD comedic love story about a liberated woman and a troubled stubborn bad boy with a secret past. "

wow, with a story like that, I not only want to do the project for free, but I want to invest in it... as for any writing experience, well, s/he wrote the ad...

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The mind boggles at the mentality of people who write ads like this.

 

One of the regular Red users just posted an ad asking for people to work for free on a personal project of his, even to the point where he warned that he wouldn't even pay people for gas money, and I hit the roof with him. I am so tired for people who have a dream of making a great film, and then asking other people to contribute their sweat to make it a reality. It ain't my dream! It's your dream! I can't pay my rent with dreams! Idiots...

 

I would have the same reaction if some guy said, "hey, I've always wanted a pool in my backyard. I need somebody to drive over with an industrial digger, dig a giant hole, haul away the dirt, bring in some concrete, lay in all the plumbing, pour in the concrete, paint it all, then fill it with water. I won't buy you any lunch or pay for gas, but I will send you postcards of me and my family enjoying the pool. If this sounds like your idea of a good time, get in touch with me soon! Summer is almost here!"    ???

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I would have the same reaction if some guy said, "hey, I've always wanted a pool in my backyard. I need somebody to drive over with an industrial digger, dig a giant hole, haul away the dirt, bring in some concrete, lay in all the plumbing, pour in the concrete, paint it all, then fill it with water. I won't buy you any lunch or pay for gas, but I will send you postcards of me and my family enjoying the pool. If this sounds like your idea of a good time, get in touch with me soon! Summer is almost here!" ???

Perfect response! I hope you said as much to him.

Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk

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He brought it upon himself with his ridiculous requests and the phrasing of the post.

 

It wouldn't be too bad if all he was asking for was a DX/FX edit and basic stereo mix deliverable for 3,500.

 

But the fact that he wants two days of ADR, a separate foley artist (or foley at all!), "high-end facilities", a 5.1 mix and all the unnecessary "characteristics" listed makes it offensive.

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I see no smear in posting a real ad (including the original link), completely as originally presented on Mandy, followed by my rhetorical comments. One can be a nice person and have a brilliant mind and yet not grasp that they're foolhardy, insulting, and present a very bad impression in an ad. 

 

If somebody had said: "hey, I have very little money, but I need X, Y, and Z services for a little project. Talk to me in email and we'll set up a meeting, and if we seem to get along and you can deliver what I need for my budget, we'll work together." How hard is that? 

 

There is such a thing as overthinking ads to the point where you insult the recipient and belittle people who read them long before they apply. I bet the wording scared off 90% of the people who might have actually been able to help him. 

 

Note that the moment somebody posts a public ad on a service like Mandy or CrewsControl or Doddle or god forbid Craigslist, you invite public comment. I never once printed the guy's name -- you did -- and never insulted the guy personally. I only poked fun at the ad itself, which to me is fair game. I have no idea what his or her personal situation is. I'd have the same response if it was a needy public service organization helping orphan inner-city kids with cancer, or a rich 16-year-old entitled kid in Bel Air, or a professional 40-year-old Oscar-winning filmmaker at Warner Bros. No matter who wrote the ad, it's insulting, unkind, mean-spirited, and also goes off the charts with unrealistic expectations for not enough money.

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...

Doh, here's a new one for a sound editor:

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Employer: Independent

Location: Van Nuys 

Duration: 10 days, starts ASAP

Apply to: John

Created: 2 Aug 2014, Expires: 22 Aug 2014

 

Payment is on an unpaid basis.

Looking for someone to mark up for ADR sound on timeline, create SFX and M&E tracks.

It should take up to 7-10 Days of Work.

FCP7 workflow.

IMDb credit for this project (already up on imdb). It's an action/adventure little piece project. It will be a great addition to your IMDb and resume.

Expenses will be paid in form of hard drives with the files we'll provide so you don't need to use yours and also if you choose to work in our place we will make you as much coffee/tea/feed you with as many cookies and snacks as you can take ;)

Thank you in advance.

http://www.mandy.com/1/jobs3.cfm?v=58162738&skill=all&terr=uscs

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 
 
Wow, let me get this straight: they're paying in hard drives, as well as cookies and snacks?
 
What if I need 10 hard drives a day for my rate, along with a truck of cookies and snacks? (I can eat an awful lot.)
 
I hope the drives are 6TB thunderbolt drives. 9 or 10 of those a day would definitely cover my day rate.
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Expenses will be paid in form of hard drives

 

 

 

I believe they mean they'll cover your out-of-pocket expenses by letting you build everything on their hard drives. Not that you can keep those drives when you're finished. 

 

No, in this case you're just working for cookies. 

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Craigslist is really entertaining!

 

Looking for Sound Recordist, Grips, Hair & Make-Up (Glendale)

compensation:
California Minimum Wage $9.00 Plus Overtime Deferred
Episodic Comedy Series With Great Cast & Crew Shooting On Stage for Four Days.
(8 Hours or Less Each Day) Small Cast, Experience Crew and Great Attitudes All Around.
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