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Sound Recordist seeking Landscape Crew


deep owl

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I posted this on CL gigs Los Angeles a few months back. It got flagged down pretty quick but I figured I'd share it with y'all here for a good laugh if you're bored in between takes. It's a bit cliché, but whatever...Hollywood is full of recycled clichés!

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I'm a location sound mixer/recordist and I'm seeking a 2 man landscaping crew to work with.

Here's the deal...every time I'm on location I'll call you and tell you where it is. You drive up with your stake bed truck full of mowers, weed whackers, leaf blowers etc. and start going at it! Bring a chainsaw and a jack-hammer if you've got em! I'll tell production that we can't get any usable sound. A producer or AD will then approach the landscape crew and ask you to stop. You just have to say 'can't, got other jobs after this.' If they say 'can you go do those and then come back?' say something like 'the next job is in Palmdale so no.' They'll try to get you to stop in tons of different ways...just keep saying no and keep your machines running. At some point they'll start to offer you bribes. Hold out for at least $400. Give me %15 and we'll have a good business going. Did I mention this whole thing will probably only take about an hour? Easiest, quickest cash you can make right!? If we do it well we can probably set up some drug running for coked up producers and other people on set who don't actually work.

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I did a job a few weeks ago where we were in a Beverly Hills residential neighborhood. About halfway through the shoot (in a multi-million-dollar home interior), we were plagued with tree-trimmers sawing branches with chainsaws. Drove us nuts.

Moved to the next location, in the Cahuenga Pass. Two hours pass. We set up to shoot... and out come the tree-trimmers again. Exact same thing, different upscale neighborhood. I'm convinced they were following us.

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Yeah, I authored that ridiculousness for CL. Didn't search it out here before reposting. Came up with the little diatribe after a very high end commercial shoot on which the location was next to 2 houses under construction, a flock of wild parrots about, and many landscapers here and there. Pacific Palisades...great place to shoot! Anyway, I'll look up the old thread. I was not yet a member of jws when I threw that up on the CL :)

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