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Rage.

 

Rage is an unproductive invisible yet screaming partner with whom to negotiate life.

 

After any trauma, rage insinuates itself deep in the psyche.

 

It's so powerful, I am terrified to let it show its face or open its mouth. It builds and explodes sometimes. Exceedingly messy and counter-productive.

 

For survivors, it is the monster that hides behind and under everything.

 

Rage was the first emotional red flag that something powerful and relentless was destroying my life from the inside out.

 

I determined to study it under a microscope by becoming a detective. I sought clues to its origins. Chose individuals with the least control of the phenomenon to sidle up to. That invasion of personal / psychic space was dangerous. One rage-ous UPM uninvited me from the final season of a show because I addressed his rage directly. But I learned its workings. The, "You're a Perfect Assh*le" story is best told by voice. Let's see if I'm in the mood to tell it today on Sounderday. https://zoom.us/j/817979726

 

Rage.

 

It comes with all trauma. It comes with #MeToo.

 

Survival mechanism. Involuntary emotional response.

 

Science has recently declared that trauma re-wires the brain and even DNA.

 

IME as an amateur student of electrical signals and survivor, it does.

 

To survive, one must perform a wiring repair job and re-route.

 

I see a significant percentage of women (and men) in the industry who enter every "room" with  their fists up. This puts the room into defense mode. Off the bat it's war.

 

#MeToo brings out the Rage. It's given many permission to express it; as eventually it must be felt, expressed, and passed through.

 

I chose to learn to express it in art / poetry / performance.

 

When I wire, it's a dance and some of my best work.

 

Sometimes I fail to control it, particularly when in the company of someone who's not yet learned to hold their open hands at their sides.

 

The image attached is one piece of art I made. It was in an art show in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

 

Entire segments of populations are repeatedly, predictably traumatized and their rage weaponized.

 

My intention is to write at some length on the subject and as always anticipate your wise perspectives to add to our collective understanding.

 

 

rage_abuse_exhibit.jpg

Edited by Jan McL
For #MeToo

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The thought exercise above is meant to engender empathy / compassion for those individuals we encounter whose default emotional response under stress is Rage.

 

An unusually high number of our colleagues will be working through this phase of healing in the coming years with the subject all of a sudden in the headlines again and again and no longer taboo.

 

Fair warning.

 

Forewarned.

 

How we experience others' rage can -- with practice -- be a choice.

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Allow me to set the stage toward adding another layer of understanding what's happening with women in the biz'.

 

S3, EP6 of Malcolm Gladwell's Revisionist History Podcast has profoundly changed my life in ways I can't yet fathom.

 

Expressing emotionally confusing situations in sentences has been a successful growth strategy for me. Much thinking, ideas repeated (meditation), testing (publication/performance)

 

The changes in our industry have me confused as I figure out a different way of being at work.

 

So I write.

 

Quote

"Q: Was there a period where you felt you had something to prove? A: The first 45 years of my life."
 

Sammy Davis Junior was one of the world’s greatest entertainers for the better part of half a century. He was black. But he thought the best way to succeed in the world was to act as if he wasn’t. Did we judge him too harshly?

 

Substitute women for Sammy Davis Junior.

 

http://revisionisthistory.com/episodes/26-the-hug-heard-round-the-world

 

I have to deal with the fact that I have for my entire career been a collaborator, having done whatever needed to be done--short of sex--to get where I wanted desperately to go. Short of sex since my first industry-related advice was, "Don't f&ck where you eat," from Dennis Maitland in Washington Square Park during the shooting of "In Search of Bobby Fischer". First advice.

Sammy-Davis-Jr.-hugging-Richard-Nixon-at-a-youth-rally-during-the-US-Presidential-campaign-1972.jpg

Edited by Jan McL
Added, "So I write."

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It's sad that the strategies minorities have always had to use to survive, are also applicable to fully half the population. 

 

At least, we're finally seeing some changes over the fifty-odd years I've been doing this stuff. It's still rocky, and there are competing interests trying to push people down, but maybe we'll see some progress eventually.

 

Meanwhile, you do what you can in your own life and those lives you have influence over, to make changes (or at least not make things worse by perpetuating the bad stuff). 

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33 minutes ago, Jay Rose said:

It's sad that the strategies minorities have always had to use to survive, are also applicable to fully half the population. 

 

[Snip...]

 

Meanwhile, you do what you can in your own life and those lives you have influence over, to make changes (or at least not make things worse by perpetuating the bad stuff). 

 

I always forget that women make up about half the world. Thanks for the reminder.

 

Despite much sadness and decades of near-full-time work to go through it, at this point experiencing any part of that struggle as other than joyous triumph doesn't serve me well. I'm not pulling any punches in the telling that's for sure.

 

The most I can do is lead some horses to the water. This thread is a first step.

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My exhibit "A" for all you say is my own daughter.  PTSD from some very bad experiences = ambient rage, all the time.  She is a brilliant creative person, but as you say, enters every room with her fists up.  I have to say that that entry mode was a hallmark of my boomer-generation in the biz, but I'm glad to report that the many of the crews I work on these days (with the rest of the crew less than half my age mostly) are not like that, and seem to be conscious of trying to not be that way.  Go, millennials, I say.   Swallowed rage is addictive and terribly destructive to one's health.  How to release it without causing more rage?  Story telling seems to be the best way, when there are people willing to quiet their minds long enough to really hear the story.  Thus, my daughter tells a lot of stories.  It's not going to be easy at all, but there needs to be a lot more listening than there has been in the past.

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24 minutes ago, Philip Perkins said:

My exhibit "A" for all you say is my own daughter.  PTSD from some very bad experiences = ambient rage, all the time.  She is a brilliant creative person, but as you say, enters every room with her fists up.  I have to say that that entry mode was a hallmark of my boomer-generation in the biz, but I'm glad to report that the many of the crews I work on these days (with the rest of the crew less than half my age mostly) are not like that, and seem to be conscious of trying to not be that way.  Go, millennials, I say.   Swallowed rage is addictive and terribly destructive to one's health.  How to release it without causing more rage?  Story telling seems to be the best way, when there are people willing to quiet their minds long enough to really hear the story.  Thus, my daughter tells a lot of stories.  It's not going to be easy at all, but there needs to be a lot more listening than there has been in the past.

 

I'm sorry that you, your family, friends and especially your daughter understand Philip. I hoped you'd chime in though since it's been a while since we addressed our shared understanding. She's lucky to have you as her dad.

 

You're correct that a high percentage of our generation's film culture adopted ambient rage as its signature emotion. [I'm keeping 'ambient rage' by the way. Thanks for that phrase.]

 

You're also correct that the younger generation has evolved beyond and better. Brava! Bravo!

 

Story telling is absolutely key. So is bearing witness. Those two go together. The victim / colluder story is eventually ready to be re-written and the new role of hero practiced. And practiced. And practiced more until you get it right.

 

Problem is, the stories are so grim and some frankly evil that the people who need to tell them are reluctant to bring those things into the hearts and minds of those they love. The stories are hard to hear.

 

Catch 22 / dilemma.

 

Art and poetry are often obscure enough that difficult things may be said without actually saying them.

 

That's how I got around the Catch 22 long enough to spew it all out in the presence of poetry reading, art-looking witnesses.

 

 

anger.jpg

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I agree about art and poetry but I feel like our real story-telling geniuses need to be figuring out a way to configure the stories people should hear in a way that won't have them "changing the channel" right away.  What induces people to listen to stories that they don't very much want to hear, because they might have some closely held assumptions, if not their very identity, questioned?   I have to say that the avant garde and serious art etc aren't helping a whole lot with this at the moment, in my opinion.  It may be that you folks laboring away on episodics that are the ones that have the only real opportunity to address these "stories" to the audience who should be hearing them.

 

I think the image below is a great illustration of the concept of "ambient rage".

ar.jpg

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"Serious" art / poetry is draped in a butt-ton of weighty institutional baggage that takes on a flavor of glee when it successfully confounds regular folks. Yeah. Popular culture goes to the other extreme in its desire to appeal to the maximum number of people.

 

I think there are story telling geniuses behind these amazing projects on the subject:

 

"13 Reasons Why" - Netflix original

"Capturing the Friedmans" - currently available on HBO

"The Keepers" - Netflix

"Spotlight"

"Patrick Melrose" - out this year on Showtime and a magnificently tragic / triumphant story of (barely) surviving childhood sexual abuse portrayed by that Cumberbatch fella.

Frontline documentary "Hand of God"

"An Open Secret" A film about the sexual abuse of children in the entertainment industry in Hollywood. 

"Girl 27" - Sexual assault in Hollywood

"Mea Maxima Culpa: Silence in the House of God" - Alex Gibney explores the charged issue of pedophilia in the Catholic Church, following a trail from the first known protest against clerical sexual abuse in the United States and all the way to the Vatican.

"Three Billboards"

 

The action-issue at hand is that everyday traumatized humans need to tell their stories. How do they find the right audience capable of hearing them? I don't think the mercenary (therapist) model wholly adequate to this task. I certainly censored my story when told to my family. Got into some detail with the private detective I hired to examine court records for me but fired after he said I should, "...just get over it and move on."

 

Do you think bearing witness to others' stories well told is enough for the healing survivors seek? I have my doubts.

 

This is the important and healing part of the work: saying it publicly and not being murdered for telling, but honored.

 

There remain parts of my own story that have never been told.

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23 hours ago, Jan McL said:

The stories are hard to hear.

 

Indeed. Yet a few of them can be couched in ways that make the medicine go down easier.

 

My older sister was a computer pioneer, in the days of mainframes. She had worked her way up from a "do you like puzzles" recruitment to being a senior programmer at AT&T, then a systems analyst for IBM, and then joined a consultancy where - among other things - she traveled around the country teaching programers how to understand their projects better. 

At one such trip, in the mid 1970s, she went to the hotel restaurant to get breakfast. Since there was a conference going on, the place was crowded. She eventually got a table, but nobody took her order. Meanwhile, other parties were seated, ate, and left.

She asked to see the manager, who explained "these gentlemen had to get to a seminar, so we served them first." As my sister tells it, "I pulled myself up to my full 5'4", smiled at the manager, and sweetly asked, 'Did it ever occur to you that I'm running the seminar?' "

... a comment on a bad situation, but coated with enough sugar that someone could think about the message without feeling threatened.

--

 

Similar situation drove an All In The Family episode in the early 70s, revolving around a riddle: "A young man comes into the Emergency Room and needs an operation. The surgeon called says 'I can't work on this person, he's my son. You'll have to get a different surgeon.' But the surgeon wasn't the boy's father."

Nobody in the family can figure it out.  The answer, of course, comes in the third act... with a lot of "aha!" reaction. 

If any readers aren't old enough to remember All In The Family, or didn't study it in media class, look it up. 

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5 hours ago, Jan McL said:

"Serious" art / poetry is draped in a butt-ton of weighty institutional baggage that takes on a flavor of glee when it successfully confounds regular folks. Yeah. Popular culture goes to the other extreme in its desire to appeal to the maximum number of people.
 

Do you think bearing witness to others' stories well told is enough for the healing survivors seek? I have my doubts.

 

This is the important and healing part of the work: saying it publicly and not being murdered for telling, but honored.

 

There remain parts of my own story that have never been told.

Serious art can do wonderful things if the artists disregard the "art-museum-dealer-donor-sales" complex and do their work.  As usual, if an artist wants any sort of financial support for their work, they have to deal with the current-day Medicis.

 

I think bearing witness is exactly that--getting "witnesses" (listeners) to share in the story so it can be better "borne" by the story's teller-owner.  Telling the story is only a partial relief--it can't heal anyone or undo what's been done, but it can make life with that story/history/hurt more bearable.  That's why people do it, I think.  There is the great passionate hope that someone will hear a story and the next time they see themselves in a mirror realize that they own a piece of that problem, and fix it.

 

You only need to tell the parts of your story you want to tell.  That story is yours to tell or not as you please, how you please.  My daughter made this extremely clear to me--she was not to be questioned or importuned on her experiences, she would tell them in her own fashion in her own time, as she felt she needed or wanted to.

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I stepped into the middle of a "FB Sexist Sound Remarks" fight last week and was roundly trounced from both sides.

 

In reflection, I deserved beatdowns from both sides. Didn't handle the exchange well.

 

That badly-handled encounter's why I'm adding this section to my continued thinking about men and women together in the workplace: then and now.

 

Here's a confession: I'm a collaborator and coward. Sammy Davis Junior podcast link from previous post for reference. I've been a "House Chick" for a very long time.

 

To-wit: I laughed at the fellas' off-color jokes. Worse, in my heart I silently scoffed at the women who wore makeup, dresses and/or heels to set because I knew those things would make me appear 'weak' and I couldn't afford to be perceived as weak in a tough room. And worse yet for #MeToo me, the men would think I was inviting sexual attention. No. No. No.

 

In 1973, during my first days in the formerly all-male University of Pittsburgh Varsity Marching Band, a male upperclassman instructed me to do something onerous as part of ongoing efforts to make the six of us women to their 100 men quit. I loudly replied, "Sir, f*ck you. Sir!" They laughed heartily, let me off the hook, and I was thereafter one of the boys and less vulnerable to attack. Early lesson in managing male aggression.


Flash forward two months. Our first Pitt Band road trip to NYC. The traditional mimeographed magazine was handed out to everyone on the bus. It included a condom tucked in the middle, and many offensive drawings of probably naked women. 'Probably' because I don't recall: the first image I saw caused me extreme distress. I said not a word.

 

As I recall that 1973-vintage magazine now, seems it was a violent sexual image that included hand-painted red for blood. At least 100 copies of it hand painted by my band mates with "blood" on the woman. My responses then to most things sexual / violent / #MeToo were unconscious and debilitating. Experiences like that were for many decades completely wiped from my brain. 

 

Good "House Girl" that I was, I never walked into any room of mostly men spoiling for a fight. Even so, when somebody crossed the line with a sexual touch, I pushed back with a variation of, "Sir, f*ck you, sir!" or a hand-holding whispered promise to break a finger should it happen again. That kind of push back almost always seemed to do the trick. Key is being able to distinguish when the private whisper or the public call-out will prove more effective.

 

When I reckoned words would not prove equal to the task, I was not afraid to escalate. Creepy passive-aggressive guy loft mate caused me to convince a husky grip with a hunting knife strapped to his belt to move in with us until creepy guy had turned in his keys. Creepy guy's sin? He walked into one of the women's spaces sporting boxer shorts and an erection. Banishment ensued with a physical deterrent to back us three women up.

 

Another confession: until this week I've not defended female colleagues in FB fights over sexist images / language when the women have walked into the room with their fists flying. Nonetheless, I have been known to verbally bitch slap anyone who suggests publicly or privately they'd sure love to have my job since it involves getting into actress's clothing.

 

Entering the room with your fists up is not a good strategy if your goal is to improve / change things. Per earlier thinking here about 'Rage,' those who enter the room fighting could benefit from compassion as opposed to the autonomic response to raise your fists too.

 

As part of said FB tussle, defended a male colleague for a, "Slate, what slate?" comment because at this point in his life he may be incapable of change. Or maybe because I remain a good "House Chick". Either way, this makes me a collaborator, apologist and coward.

 

I'm sorry.

 

More compassion.

 

 

slate what slate.jpg

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3 hours ago, Jan McL said:

Either way, this makes me a collaborator, apologist and coward.

 

I'm sorry.

 

I'm trying to picture a less cowardly person in our biz than you, and failing at it.

 

Maybe you just wanted to be a successful working PSM, but life and history have thrust other roles on you.  I say you are doing great at all of it, and thanks!

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1 hour ago, jt said:

Strongly suggest all view 'Nanette' by Hannah Gadsby on Netflix.

 

Holy carp: "...there is nothing stronger than a broken woman who has rebuilt herself."

 

Yes, perfect suggestion @jt. Hannah Gadsby understands the import of story telling and articulates it well. She also understands the importance of dealing with the anger so it stops infecting others. Aw yes.

 

1 hour ago, Philip Perkins said:

I'm trying to picture a less cowardly person in our biz than you, and failing at it.

 

Maybe you just wanted to be a successful working PSM, but life and history have thrust other roles on you.  I say you are doing great at all of it, and thanks!

 

Less cowardly for facing two intertwined betrayals of friends and owning up to them.

 

Thank you--as ever--for your gentle and thoughtful hearing and feedback loop @Philip Perkins. XOXO

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8 hours ago, Jay Rose said:

Nice one Jay!!!!

I'm a deviously patient person luckily, when the going gets tough I just focus and work harder.

I have always believed that absorbing quietly failure or an insult and then not getting angry but even

has worked for me on many occasions.

Facing reality and telling the hard truth is so often neede in our wonderful world of sound!

mike

 

8 hours ago, Jay Rose said:

Indeed. Yet a few of them can be couched in ways that make the medicine go down easier.

 

My older sister was a computer pioneer, in the days of mainframes. She had worked her way up from a "do you like puzzles" recruitment to being a senior programmer at AT&T, then a systems analyst for IBM, and then joined a consultancy where - among other things - she traveled around the country teaching programers how to understand their projects better. 

At one such trip, in the mid 1970s, she went to the hotel restaurant to get breakfast. Since there was a conference going on, the place was crowded. She eventually got a table, but nobody took her order. Meanwhile, other parties were seated, ate, and left.

She asked to see the manager, who explained "these gentlemen had to get to a seminar, so we served them first." As my sister tells it, "I pulled myself up to my full 5'4", smiled at the manager, and sweetly asked, 'Did it ever occur to you that I'm running the seminar?' "

... a comment on a bad situation, but coated with enough sugar that someone could think about the message without feeling threatened.

--

 

Similar situation drove an All In The Family episode in the early 70s, revolving around a riddle: "A young man comes into the Emergency Room and needs an operation. The surgeon called says 'I can't work on this person, he's my son. You'll have to get a different surgeon.' But the surgeon wasn't the boy's father."

Nobody in the family can figure it out.  The answer, of course, comes in the third act... with a lot of "aha!" reaction. 

If any readers aren't old enough to remember All In The Family, or didn't study it in media class, look it up. 

 

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On 7/8/2018 at 2:19 PM, Philip Perkins said:

.....I feel like our real story-telling geniuses need to be figuring out a way to configure the stories people should hear in a way that won't have them "changing the channel" right away. 

 

Happened upon "The Tale" yesterday, a true-story feature film written/directed by Jennifer Fox with whom I have a work history, which is why I watched.

 

Had no idea that she is a survivor.

 

That her reviews are 59% 5-star tells me that she's succeeded in your challenge @Philip Perkins. Bingo. It's happening.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/B07D8F7Q8D/ref=pd_cbs_318_7

 

She addresses many of the most important facets of working through recovered memories using the difficult-to-pull-off cutting of past/present/past together.

 

She certainly pulls no punches in the telling. 

 

Some couldn't take the hits.

 

 

the tale review Screen Shot 2018-07-10 at 6.31.03 AM.png

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On 7/9/2018 at 11:51 AM, Jay Rose said:
On 7/8/2018 at 12:16 PM, Jan McL said:

The stories are hard to hear.

 

Indeed. Yet a few of them can be couched in ways that make the medicine go down easier.

 

The violent sexual assault survivor stories I'm addressing here are not served by being watered down. Not from the survivors' POV.

 

These tales must be told and witnessed in all their evil glory.

 

Not saying Bowdlerized versions shouldn't be crafted and shared, but the complete emotional / physical truth laid bare = necessary.

 

Deal.

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RE: story telling. Dramatic recitation of the likely results of repressing peoples' stories.
 

 

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When I suggest couching a story in ways that make the medicine go down easier, I'm not saying water down or 'clean up' the story. The truth shouldn't change. 

 

It's more a question of presenting something horrible but without making the listener feel personally attacked, and instead can see how they (or their world) would benefit by acknowledging the problem and helping find a solution. Excellent article in last week's New Yorker about the fight for wage parity at the Beeb...

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Ok I have written and deleted this on a few occasions. I'll never be able to word it right but here it is. 

 

Anger is what kept me alive, it is what kept me strong. Like fire it can be all consuming and destructive, if understood it can be a very useful survival tool.

 

As a child I was sexually and physically abused. Men aren't allowed to admit that. I also witnessed the constant domestic violence my mother endured. 

 

This was my normal. Aaron I apologise for beating you up nearly every day in 2nd grade, you didn't deserve it and I wish I knew a better way to vent then. 

 

In my early years my anger almost landed me in jail. Mainly stupid shit, Malicious damage, break and enter (think the only thing I ever stole was a hammer). It was a way to vent. Later I discovered skateboarding and graffiti and that gave me a purpose to my anger. 

 

Alas I have also expressed my anger in a dark sense of humour that doesn't always come across.

 

Once I moved away I pushed all the shit to the furthest regions of my mind like it didn't exist. I was happy. I had invented a new me. I had a break down when all that shit I had denied existed came flooding back. Once again I self medicated. It was a long road to recovery mentally and spiritually as I confided in friends that had never heard my story. Not going to lie I lost a few who couldn't cope with what I had to tell them. I don't blame them.

 

This industry really helped me find my sense of confidence and self worth. The sense of our dept being trodden upon and dismissed and fighting for what we require. In a way it was my fuck you letter. I think I fell in love with the fight and then later fell in love with sound. Alas I have heard the charm of manipulation on set and have been utterly sick to my stomach. 

 

Don't be ashamed of your anger, use, own, understand it. It is your right it it doesn't have to be negative. 

 

Cheers Nate.

 

 

 

 

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3 hours ago, Nate C said:

Ok I have written and deleted this on a few occasions. I'll never be able to word it right but here it is. 

 

Anger is what kept me alive, it is what kept me strong. Like fire it can be all consuming and destructive, if understood it can be a very useful survival tool.

 

As a child I was sexually and physically abused. Men aren't allowed to admit that. I also witnessed the constant domestic violence my mother endured. 

 

This was my normal. Aaron I apologise for beating you up nearly every day in 2nd grade, you didn't deserve it and I wish I knew a better way to vent then. 

 

In my early years my anger almost landed me in jail. Mainly stupid shit, Malicious damage, break and enter (think the only thing I ever stole was a hammer). It was a way to vent. Later I discovered skateboarding and graffiti and that gave me a purpose to my anger. 

 

Alas I have also expressed my anger in a dark sense of humour that doesn't always come across.

 

Once I moved away I pushed all the shit to the furthest regions of my mind like it didn't exist. I was happy. I had invented a new me. I had a break down when all that shit I had denied existed came flooding back. Once again I self medicated. It was a long road to recovery mentally and spiritually as I confided in friends that had never heard my story. Not going to lie I lost a few who couldn't cope with what I had to tell them. I don't blame them.

 

This industry really helped me find my sense of confidence and self worth. The sense of our dept being trodden upon and dismissed and fighting for what we require. In a way it was my fuck you letter. I think I fell in love with the fight and then later fell in love with sound. Alas I have heard the charm of manipulation on set and have been utterly sick to my stomach. 

 

Don't be ashamed of your anger, use, own, understand it. It is your right it it doesn't have to be negative. 

 

Cheers Nate.

 

 

 

 

Respect, sounds like you've come a long way Nate. Maybe sharing it here is part of that too - all those sharing difficult personal experiences here deserve our attention and empathy. d r

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Glad you found the whatever-it-takes to share your story here; sorry this story is yours to tell.

 

Big respect from here, too. You've already done a lot of work to be able to publicly say the words. Congrats!

 

Quote

Don't be ashamed of your anger, use, own, understand it. It is your right it it doesn't have to be negative. 

 

Yes: anger certainly does not have to be a negative. The idea that helped me turn a corner with it was treating Anger like a red flag indicating something I must consider closely, and thus a great tool. So long as I allow myself to actually feel it and not stuff it away where it goes to pus and tends to explode like a boil in a disgusting mess all over anyone standing near, all's well.

 

Will undoubtedly write more later because inspired by your post, but working very hard these days and...

 

In any case for now: thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

 

 

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We are all aware men are victimized in this industry too right?

 

I was on some Noah Baumbach movie in NYC replacing now Union Local 52 Gillian Arthur and after refusing to work more,( partly because $75 a day in 2011 is bs and partly because my body was failing me from jerk nyu alumni I busted my ass in life to meet) Gillian was all not believing I was working injured or something and was all telling me how people on set were famous.  IE Greta Gerwig who prior to the call in my final late hours working decided to angrily flash me her boobs when I went to mic her up.  I told Gillian this, and she just laughed.  But I told her immediately and it was added to a reason I was not caring to consider working through more pain... btw, rhomboid is still f'd up, now way I can do that one man sound man thing which from what I read about how the human body is built, wearing a harness with a sound bag is asking to ruin your life at some point... it's all about the fascia... and if that gets torn it never heals or something... idrk

 

Anyways, look like a 6'5 mclovin but uglier... Girls are creeped out by my apperance, so I was not being shown boobs in a friendly manner and I may have even had to debate her my sophmore year and her senior year in a Varsity Debate meet... It that was her and her friend at Davis High was the girl who taught me debate, I know what Greta's intentions were and it would mean she never outgrew adolescence... This girl who taught us debate would bring thick candy canes to put guys on tilt... Especially if she knew a guy on a debate team was half closet gay... This would be my lady bird high school movie I suppose... 

 

Anyone ever do that? Make tie ins to fictional movies based on real life events?

 

7 biblical years later I'm watching Masterclass and Martin Scorsese is saying he used rage to get his early movies done... 

 

Honestly, #metoo seems like bs, only relevent in companies where people in power have stopped meeting earning "numbers" or something.  

 

Movie industry is a sad scene these days from my perspective.  Lots of bs, lots of people living in certain regions, pretending to be about humanism.

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Sure, men get treated badly. And sometimes men are in a position where they are inferior to women in a work relationship. But most of the time, that relationship does not end with the woman sexually harassing or even raping the man. That’s not even up for debate. The numbers are there, that’s just not happening in the same amount, numbers as you say, that the other way around is happening. Look at all these women across the globe. You really think they all just huddled up just because? It’s been a long time coming. I’m happy I have the balls to respect every person on eat, regardless of sex or other stuff. I’m very sad to hear my colleagues across the globe all tell the same story. What saddens me even more is that some of my male colleagues think they’re all lying, and basing that on probably just ONE time in their career when they were a little uncomfortable with something. “What about! What about!” Yeah, sure. It’s happening to men. But not to this extent. And certainly not to the extent that you can call the whole thing BS. But yeah, people tend to want to make money off of phenomenons. And you know who’s making the money right? Men. Saying they’re now thinking about #metoo and going on about their business as usual. Green washing. Weinstein will be replaced, or has been, with someone who has a cleaner record (or others around that guy will make sure the record is clean) . Maybe they put a woman in his place, whilst upholding these power hierarchies. A female boss serving the manly gaze or the macho style. Sits well with the males above her. 

 

That said, #metoo has really made an impact. But it hasn’t made my career, or yours, any worse. Women will still not harass you, or rape you. Men will keep doing that though. 

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